A Balanced Heart: 10 Weeks to Breakthrough Tonight’s Pain Point: We continue to overview Dr. Katie’s book, which teaches us skills to expand our comfort zones so we can achieve all of our goals. Today’s skill is “Give and Receive Without Attachment to Outcome”.
Tonight’s Program Title: Give and Receive Without Attachment to OutcomeTonight’s Program Golden Nugget: Credit to my friend Dr. Katie McCorkle (Stanford, U of Pitt, Harvard) and the workshop she invited me to attend before writing her workbook. Throughout this section, Dr. Katie categorizes what we give and receive into to groups: Love, and Non-love. Do you give without expectation of anything, even gratitude, in return? Do you distance yourself gratefully from those who don’t treat you the way you want to be treated, or do you distance with anger? Do you accept “no” for an answer, or do you make others “pay” by blaming them when they don’t give you what you want? When the universe doesn’t give you what you want, do you give it to yourself instead? Do you even realize this is within your power? Do you take other people’s judgments personally, and make yourself “pay” for them. When you don’t make a judgment personally, it demonstrates you have advanced in your personal growth. Reacting with upset reveals a growth block within yourself. Attachments are the conditions you place on your love. Releasing your attachment to how things turn out is the path to happiness, and freedom to love yourself and others without conditions. It is a demonstration of your trust that all is well, whether it looks that way at the moment or not. Unconditional love for yourself is being willing to ask for what you want and accept gratefully whatever you receive in return. When you want something and don’t ask for it, it’s an indication you don’t feel deserving of it. Ask for it, and to this, I add personally: This or something better! It’s the love you give that makes you truly happy because then giving and receiving are the same. When you give love to a person or living creature, you also receive the joy of giving. When you expect anything else in addition to that joy, you are asking to be “paid” twice. Do you test other people’s love by forcing them to do things, such as buy you gifts or behave the way you want them to behave, to “prove” that they love you? If you make people prove their love, then you don’t really believe they do, and there is no way they can prove it anyway. Personally, I think love is a decision, not an emotion, and others may have a different way of showing their decision than we do – and it’s very easy to misinterpret. Without calling it this, Katie discusses the Law of Attraction. She says Our thoughts are how we feed our minds, our hearts, and ultimately, our actions. By your thoughts, you create your life. The moment we think “Why aren’t you supporting me?” the anguish of loss and separation appear. The moment you seed thoughts of love and acceptance, confidence that you can do what you want, whether others support you or not, peace and balance are what you receive. This is the Golden Rule in action: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How do you respond when someone doesn’t give you what you want? Do you accept it gracefully and move on? Or do you try to make them change their mind? If so, this is your fragile ego at work, and not your grace or faith.
What changed: This or something better! Know what you want, or more importantly, NEED, and go after it, but accept gracefully when you receive something somewhat different in its place. You just might be in a better position than you had planned to begin with.
Next in Program Series: Review of Dr. Katie McCorkle’s 10 Weeks to Breakthrough workshop. Create Safety for Yourself and Others.
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